Hopefully the satire is clear and not too poorly done...
Joe American gimps into the emergency room. (We'll pretend that the hundreds of people that normally crowd the place are not there) The nurse approaches him. "Yes Sir, what seems to be the problem?"
"I hurt my leg, I think it's broken."
"Well, we'll get you fixed right up Sir. Come with me."
So Joe American is whipped back to the ward with the solicitous nurse. but imagine his surprise when he is told to sit down and bare his arm. "I just need to draw some blood sir," he is told.
"But what about my leg?"
"We'll take care of you sir don't worry."
The nurse marches off with several vials of Joe's blood and he sits and waits his leg a throbbing mass of agony. Soon he hears a cheerful voice calling out his name. He sticks his head out the door. A smiling young man tells him, "It's time for your X-rays sir."
"Finally," Joe thinks to himself. But to his surprise there is no wheelchair. "Ummm, my leg is hurting quite badly. Can I get a wheelchair?"
"It's just a few doors down sir and we'll get you fixed up," the young man replys.
Joe grits his teeth and forces his way down to the X-ray room. "Just sit there and we'll get those teeth checked out," he is told.
"My teeth? But it's my leg that's hurt!" Joe complains.
The technician looks at him blankly. "I am just going by the orders on your chart sir."
"But don't you want to X-ray my leg?"
The man looks at the paperwork in his hand. "No sir, I've got you down for dental X-rays and a chest X-ray. Why don't we just get those taken care of and then we'll see about the other thing."
Joe grumbles but submits first to a full set of Dental X-rays and then hobbles over and barely able to stand allows for a chest X-ray. He then is directed back to his original room. Limping along and clutching to the side of the wall to keep from falling he barely makes back to his room before another nurse appears. "Sir we're going to need a urine sample"
Joe moans. "But what does that have to do with my leg?"
The nurse blinks and looks at him blankly. Joe points down to his pants leg that is beginning to seep blood. "I'm sure the doctor will take care of all your problems sir. In the meantime...
Joe is handed a cup and looking at the expectant face of the nurse he sighs and creeps over to the bathroom to provide the requested sample.
Finally he makes his way back to the hospital bed and collapses into it. Hours seem to pass before finally the curtain of the room and pulled back and a tall self assured young doctor waltzes in. Through his haze of pain Joe feels a glimmer of hope that perhaps finally he will receive the care he needs.
The doctor sits down and frowns across the bed at Joe. "It's a good thing you came in when you did sir."
"Yes I know, my leg..."
The doctor interrupts "Your cholesterol alone is sky high and you have two cavities, not to mention that your BMI is....well, a good deal over the recommended limit."
Joe falls back to the bed realizing that the original reason he came to the hospital in the first place has been totally ignored and that all the good doctor and staff are concerned about are minor issues that could have been dealt with at a later date but once they had him in their clutches they were unwilling to let a good crisis go to waste....